My Friend Set Me Up

Yes, that's the title. My friend did set me up.... with a guy. Close to one month ago, we met.

Background context: It all started when my best friend and her boyfriend brought me out for my birthday lunch. One of the activities include playing card games which I brought, at the rooftop. We were playing the 'Love Language' card game and it have 5 categories - family, couple, past & future, individual and sex & intimacy. As the joker that I am, I picked up most of the couple and sex & intimacy card because I'm very curious of my friend's love life. From there, I found out they had their ups and down for the past 3 and a half years. When it comes to the topic of bickering, her boyfriend shared us with us that he always talk to this particular friend when he's having relationship issues. Since my friend doesn't know much about his friend, it piques her interest as well. Her boyfriend mentioned that he's currently single so they thought it's a good idea to invite him to our friend group since it's always been the 3 of us. They also low-key pity me because I don't have a men in my life.

From there, her boyfriend made a plan for us to go out together. After that day, he went to see his friend and talked about it. Sounds like he made a formal proposal to get him to join our group, and his friend said yes. When he said yes, it made both my best friend and her boyfriend very excited and hyped. They cannot wait to see me talking to another men. Also, the timing is very uncanny because all of sudden, my TIKTOK is spammed with couples and dates related content. Yikes!

Moving on... The idea of being set up on a date used to be weird to me because It seemed as if I was lowering my standards because I couldn’t find someone on my own, or as if I wasn’t trusting God to dump a guy in my life. But after thinking about it, I should trust my best friend and her boyfriend. They know me very well, and both of them have a good judge of character.

Based on what her boyfriend shared, his friend is a nice guy. He is very matured and have a great personality. But he is also a boomer because he is 4 years older than me. Her boyfriend mentioned that we have something in common - he loves cat, and dyes his hair frequently - just like me.

When the date of the outing was confirmed, my friends got super excited about it. Me? I'm not expecting much tbh. It's just an opportunity to meet someone new in my life. All I know is that I don't need to impress him, just be friendly and be myself. Hopefully by end of the day, I can say that I've enjoyed my time and it's nice to meet him. Since his friend already have a car licence, he rented a car for our outing and fetched us. Upon fetching me, I was a nervous wreck. One, because I'm carrying a heavy duffel bag as I slept over at my brother's. Two, because I actually dolled up nicely which is completely out of my comfort zone - full face make-up, long skirt, boots, outerwear that's not oversized. I don't want his friend to think that I'm trying to make an impression. But I also want to appreciate my friend and her boyfriend's effort in styling me up for this day <3 Throughout the car ride, I talked to my friend and her boyfriend. Not once did I ever made eye contact with his friend or say anything to him. Like I said, I was nervous. First destination of our outing was to Cat Cafe @ Eunos area. I have to take back my words - the price is not worth it. I don't know why that day the cats are sleepy and grumpy and quite anti-social. There's only one fluffy cat who's a social butterfly so guess who played with the cat? My friend's boyfriend and his friend. Surprisingly the men are good with cats HAHAH. His friend even hugged the cat and tried bringing the cat over to me. Awkward..... After the hour ended, Seri and boyfriend abandoned me with his friend alone. I don't know what to do or say so I waited for them outside of the cat cafe. Walking back to the car, I asked my friend and her boyfriend if they're hungry and what they're planning to eat later. My friend nudged me to ask his friend so I referred to him as "(my friend's name)'s boyfriend's friend". Dude literally turned at me and said out his name. It's not because I purposely don't want to call his name. I'm just too awkward to say or do anything in front of him. Side activity: Take a shot each time I say the word 'AWKWARD'.

Next destination is our lunch/ dinner because it's around 5pm. He parked our car at a secluded area and while walking towards Tipo, I noticed so many empty spaces at the open carpark opposite Tipo. I voiced out a tad too loud that he made a turn towards his car. At that moment, I thought I said something insensitive that triggered him and got my friend's boyfriend to check on him - turns out he really want to park the car there because he's lazy to walk further after eating later.

For seating arrangement, it's the usual. My friend and her boyfriend, followed by me sitting opposite of them. But this time, there's another person beside me. I'm so used to putting things (i.e. bags/ bulky stuff) beside me.

We ordered our pasta and drinks. It's hella awkward because as usual, I did not initiate any conversation and my attention was to my friend the entire time. I only made eye contact with my friend and boyfriend and hopefully they can see my from eyes that I'm screaming for help. I saved my mushroom the best for the last, but I ended up not being able to finish it so I asked his friend to eat mine since he said the portion he ordered is not enough. Move on to the funny part - I took a bit of my friend's salmon because I want to taste it. She thought I wanted a lot so she gave me quite a cut from it. When I jokingly said I can't finish it, her boyfriend offered to split half with me but she said don't. Ends up, his friend used his fork to cut it in half and took the other half of the salmon. I wanted to say "it's okay, I want to finish it" but I ended up saying thank you instead.

After Tipo, the gents went off for toilet break while we waited at the roadside. The usual interview session - "so how is he so far?" and all I could answer was "I don't want. I'm so awkward. I don't know what to say" and I swear this is my go-to phrases for that day itself.

It's not me and my best friend if we don't order Rumi drinks whenever we're around Haji Lane area. We ordered Julie Bakes cakes and drinks. Since Rumi is at full capacity, we couldn't dine in there. Instead, the gents suggested we picnic at East Coast as we can also enjoy the satays there. Since we have a lot of time, why not?

The queue to enter the carpark was super long and it's hella crowded there. It's basically seeing not-so-kiasu Singaporeans going to the beach on weekends for family bonding time. Since my friend's boyfriend don't want to waste time, he said let's split the load - my friend and him queue for the satay stall while his friend waits for any vacant spot at the carpark. When my friend said YES to following her boyfriend to order food, my face turned pale and I got panicky. One, they're leaving me behind. Two, they're leaving me behind with a guy whom I do not trust myself to be alone with. After they left the car, there was an awkward pause so I asked if he's okay with me moving in front so it won't be awkward and he's like "okay".

When I sat beside him, I was speechless because I really don't know what to say to him so I blurted out "how are you?" and he responded "Okay ah". Then when the awkward silence continues, he asked about my future study plan. Before we meet, my friend's boyfriend video-called us when his friend came over to visit. So he knows about me wanting to pursue degrees in the future. He asked when is the application going to open, when will I enrol if I got accepted, which major I'd want to pursue etc. At that moment, he sounded like a wise uncle lecturing the young ones to go after their dreams HAHAH.

Thank God my friend and her boyfriend video-called us so it saves me from any more awkwardness with him. The moment I answered the call, both of them 'aww' because we sat beside each other. While telling them the satay orders, he found a vacant spot and he quickly parked it. It's not helping when everyone at ECP wore lupsup (super slack) then there's us overdressed to the max. I even commented "you see.. everyone else is wearing shirt and pants. then there's us - overdressed, wear dress, wear skirt" and he brushed it off and said it's fine. We walked beside each other through the crowds and the moment I felt him getting too close I sped walked to my friends.

After ordering the food, we went back to the car to take our basha sheet, drinks and cake. I placed my bag at the back of the car so I asked my friend's boyfriend if he already took out my bag. Turns out, his friend carried my bag out for me. I took it from him immediately because it's heavy. I carried the rumi drinks in the paper bag that's bound to tear and drop anytime soon. He offered to carry it for me but I rejected politely. But damn he was persistent. After he asked for the third time, I gave up and give him the paper bag. My friend and her boyfriend sped walked in front and I had no choice but to start a random talk with him. I told him how his best friend (aka my friend's boyfriend) is always there to help at our workplace to the point that our boss ordered lunch for him.

While waiting for our food to be ready in 30 minutes, we found a nice picnic spot, set up the basha, sat and played UNO flip. I forgot what happened throughout this moment but we were just playing UNO, he said "okay i'll help u (win)" or something along there, collected our food, ate while playing, and I think the game ended when I had to draw +15 cards and I really needed to use the loo. When we came back, my friend's boyfriend just talk random shit and we asked each other questions which I swear I forgot what is it already. Maybe next time I'll prepare questions to ask him.

Oh wait, there's one time I was telling them about my Dad having to see an Uztaz (Muslim Priest?) because there's disturbance in our house. Nobody... nobody at all... then HE... went to scroll for another Uztaz's number on his phone to forward it to me. According to him, that Uztaz stays nearby my neighbourhood and he's very knowledgeable.

I don't know how or what happened to the sudden turn of events. When the gents went to the loo, they came back to view the sand castle. My friend's boyfriend said "he wants you to sit in front" which results in my friend fan-girling like mad to the point she started crying. He also told his friend that this isn't how I usually dress because I usually wear sweater and jeans. His friend said next time just be myself and wear whatever I want LOLOL. Cute, but weird at the same time. At this point, I worry they think he might be low-key interested in me, which I hope not.

The car ride was awkward. I was too tired so when he tried to engage with me in small talks I either smile at him or just ignore him and it makes me feel bad. My friend and her boyfriend was behind spamming me on messages to pressure me to talk to him. At one moment, he swerved the car as if he's in a GTA mission and I almost fell over. He stretched his arm out to prevent me from 'falling over' and I swear I can hear my friend and boyfriend controlling themselves from giggling because to them - it's a romantic k-drama moments. WHAT EVEN. To make matters worse, they used generator to check who will go home first - me or them. They had his friend sent them home first, followed by me. I want to cry so bad because it'll be the second time I'm left alone with him and I really felt super duper uncomfortable.

After dropping my friend and her boyfriend, I mentally prayed nothing bad happens. It was a silent ride by the way. You already know that by now that I'm awkward with him. He told me to apply for school when application is open next year and not waste this opportunity. I asked him why didn't he want to pursue his studies since I know he started working after obtaining a certificate. He said his work is willing to sponsor his studies, but it's the course that he is not interested in. Plus, he said once we've started working for a long time, the feels to go back to school to study is already meh. Then we drive through the factories area and there's a beautiful moon sighted at the sky. I don't know why he decided to say this but he did - "Wow look at the moon, so romantic." Errrr...... He also added on "but we're not in angmoh (caucasian) countries because usually they like to go for car rides with a nice scenery with the moon at the back. we're in an asian country.. so we're surrounded by factories instead". WOW. I am speechless to the point I just 'hahahaha' at him for saying that nonsense.

After he dropped me home, I bid him goodbye. Reached home, showered, and still felt overwhelmed by what just happened.

THE VERDICT:

Everything went smoothly even though I stands out for being an awkward pest. I guess with my friend and boyfriend around, it helps to relieve the tension because I'm still figuring out how to fill the awkward silence between me and his friend. Personality wise, it's just the first meeting so I can't say much. But he definitely gives off the boyfriend vibes in a way? And he speaks to us calmly without sounding aggressive (unlike us). And he listens, a lot. He also asks a lot of questions which is normal when you're trying to get to know someone right? It makes me feel bad as a person because I really don't know how to respond when he speaks, and I think I was being unfair when I talk about things that made him feel left out. And and... he's also a foodie. He's THE Charles Boyle of the 99. He enjoys eating, and finishing my food.

Guess what? We had another outing 2 weeks after that. I, for one, definitely NOT going to look forward to it. But I promised my friends I will be nicer and friendlier to him. And also I will try my best not to say anything very offensive or sensitive. Keyword: TRY.

Maybe look forward to my next blog post?