5th October 2020

From today onwards, things will be different. It has to be. I will smile and it will always be believable. My smile will say, "I'm fine, thank you" or "Yes, I feel much better" . I will no longer be the sad little girl who lost most of her friends. I will start afresh, be someone new. Its the only way I'll make it through. I had a plan though, I wanted to change who I was. Create a life with someone new, someone without the past, without the pain, someone alive. But its not that easy. The bad things stay with me. They followed me and I can't escape them as much as I want to. All I can do is be ready for the good. So when it comes, you invite it in, because you need it and I need it.